“So, instead of feeling empty in my heart I feel there is something beautiful there.”
You requested feedback on your candle-making session. What I would like to tell you is how appreciative I am for the moment when you asked us to take the deceased one’s quality into our hearts. I remember that often and it brings me a lot of peace. I can think about my dad’s last few hours, what he said to me – “enjoy your life” and feel okay about going back to Salsa dancing, enjoying food again and generally engaging with life.
So, instead of feeling empty in my heart I feel there is something beautiful there. So, in short, I am grateful to you for bringing awareness to us about the quality of our loved ones and how they can live on in us.
“It was a wonderful, wonderful process”
Linda, thank you so much for your welcoming, gracious hospitality! During our time together you helped me create a candle in honour of my relationship with me and my [then] recently deceased mother. It was such a wonderful, wonderful process. Experiencing the feel (and sense of aliveness) of the beeswax helped so much in connecting my own feelings and memories to their final expression in the candle itself. [btw–I know that I’m “supposed” to burn it at some point….but that day hasn’t quite come for me yet.] I wish there was a way everyone could do this work–even if by long distance somehow! I celebrate your own journey as well and that I have been able to be a beneficiary of your journey-with-the-bees.
Mary Elaine Kiener, RN, PhD, Creative Energy Officer, ASK ME House, LLC (www,askmehouse.com), Lansing, Michigan
“Meditating in my heart with presence is very different than meditations I have previously experienced”
Lighting a candle is like picking up the phone! I am saying “Let’s communicate. I have time to spend with you”.I realize that I am now open to some new ways of learning about myself. These heart meditations and candle making are new avenues of connecting to people that are very important in my life. Meditating in my heart with presence is very different than meditations I have previously experienced that say “let go of your thoughts.”It is the right time or I have the right frame of mind now. I have more time now and can look more inward to do this kind of work.
When you explained to do the meditation with someone special in mind – I experienced that in a way that it is as an exchange with the person who has passed away. This is familiar to me. For example when I do baking it is for someone who had done something in the past. I think about them when I bake. These people who you have made a candle for are always available and are accessible at all times. Or other friends too. These spirits of loved ones can be connected with, at all times if we want to, are interested, willing and open.
The texture of the beeswax feels so interesting to me. It is cool on the outside and yet the longer you hold it the warmer it gets. The size is just right for hands to hold it. It reminds me of holding a new born baby. I really like making the candle. It’s harder than it looks. I like its forgiving and adjusting qualities.
Beate Schnittker, mother of 4, kindergarten assistant, Waterloo, Ontario
“What I do realize now is that I have an experience of openness and mystery of the ‘other’ that I didn’t realize before.”
I like the way you speak, you have a way about you. Continue growing this ability to speak from within your own self. You slowed down and took the time. In responding to me you stopped, took in what I said , let is settle and then spoke. The fact that you did all the meditations as well as the candle making along with me…made the whole workshop live.
To make a special candle for my person, was huge, as well as to take the time in the workshop was very important for me now. I didn’t think this would become a source of strength for me particularly. What I do realize now is that I have an experience of openness and mystery of the ‘other’ that I didn’t realize before. You provided space and time to consider ‘the other’ in a guided way. It was really helpful. The writing, the meditations, the candle making all shifted things and enabled my experience to be more specific.
In fact, the “writing” to find the right words, even when English language is not my forte – this act of choosing words, makes the connection more precise, real. It is not generalized and therefore brings the person who died, closer. All the details were wonderful.
I would recommend this workshop for anyone who wants a connection and understanding of what has happened when someone died in their life that continues to affect them. They would want some kind of resolution. It would also appeal to those who already do their own inner work. Having the candle is a very tangible resource.
Irena Zenewech, art therapist, Brantford, ON
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