What do YOU do with the ‘elephant in the room’?
So why is it so hard to talk to people about death and dying, either one’s own or another’s?
I mean, really, why is it so difficult?
Here in Canada, as well as the rest of North America, it seems we pride ourselves on being techno savvy, socially aware, politically astute and all the rest.
But when it comes to drawing closer to a loved one who is dying, we clam up big time. Death is like the ‘elephant in the room’. How do you break through our culture’s ‘deafening silence’ to talk to loved ones about death and dying, either their’s or your own?
When you are facing the dying of loved ones – grandparents, parents, siblings, children, dear friends, colleagues, neighbours – what gives you courage to get closer?
Here are two helpful books that don’t assume death is the ‘end’:
Caregiving; The Spiritual journey of Love, Loss and Renewal. Beth Witrogen McLeod. Wiley, c1999
Staying in Charge; Practical Plans for the End of Your Life by Karen Orloff Kaplan and Christopher Lukas. Wiley, c2004
I found these in my local public library and yes they are available through the internet also.
Linda’s TIP: It takes courage of our heart to move closer to one who is dying.
In other words, it is harder to talk to others about their dying, without first connecting in your own heart.
Just like the oxygen mask advice on airplanes: put your own mask on first so you can help others.
By attending to our own heart first, we will be in a better place to be present to our loved one.
What do you think? I’d love to know. Just click on Leave A Comment, at the beginning of this blog.
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More about Linda and this blog: I am hoping to blog once a week, for a year, until September 2013! Fridays or Saturdays.
If you are curious ‘About Linda’, then check out my “About Linda’ page on my website here www.candlesconnectinghearts.com
Jassy, my 75 year-old dear friend, said something to me today, about a recent conversation we’d had about ‘how to talk to friends about death and dying’. Here is what she said, ‘Talking with you is like making good bread, the yeast is powerful and the dough just rises powerfully’. Of course, that is how I feel all the time about her too.
This kind of conversing comes from opening and being in one’s heart. Easy to say on one hand and requires courage, consciousness and vulnerability on the other. That is the journey of the heart.
I started this blog because I want to talk about death and dying from what I call wholeness. As humans, we are body, soul and spirit all wrapped up together, not split up into separate pieces. I wanted to create a place where others can also come and talk about death and dying from that perspective. At death it is only the body that ‘stops’. The last breath is taken. The soul and spirit continue. Staying open in our hearts takes tremendous courage in our times.
If this kind of courage in the heart speaks to you, let us go together and see what happens.
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